You would think it is a rite of passage for all Mormon women to know how to quilt. Apparently it is NOT. Here are a few tips on how NOT to quilt:
1. Invite a Skillman, Shumway, Tucker, or Wels to any quilting get together. Their advice is cheap and WILL cause lower back pain.
2. Make sure you pull fabric as tight as possible, so that you get a ripping effect of the material. Adds character to your project.
3. Pin down material in such a way that is impossible to roll quilt. It gives you the opportunity to create new and improved ways of quilting. (Wendy, there is nothing to be embarrassed about… Just don't tell your mother.)
4. Send a courageous member of the group under quilt to help tie the yarn.
5. Use a VERY Sharp object to help direct where to thread the yarn.
6. First aid kits are optional. (But if any of the above are in attendance heed WARNING: quilting can be dangerous!)
8. Last, but not least, DO NOT have a good time!!
I am laughing hysterically! Oh that day really had our ancestors rolling in their graves. My hand is still throbbing from the experience! What a day! I'm glad you posted this, I'd forgotten all about it...mostly on purpose!
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